I’m having one of those days, the ones where you feel sort of sorry for yourself with no good reason. I love being a Christian don’t get me wrong, but It’s so hard when you think that in relationships you have to stay strong in the “What God wants thing” I don’t mean in a sex sense, just the general not living together thing, as well as a lot of little things. I wouldn’t change the person God has made me so I could fit in to society.. I just wish it was easier, now come on I go out with a Christian guy so I shouldn’t find it any harder than he is… but our different views on the marriage thing are an underlying issue. I know I’m too young to get married, mentally probably more than physically, in theory its legal to get married in Scotland at 16, and I’m 20… so 4 years into the legal sphere of being allowed to get married, I should be somewhat ready.

I’m probably just feeling sorry for myself as a lot of school friends are settling down with their families, not so much getting married but living on their own. Even friends that have gone away to uni are more independent than me. My mum hasn’t ever stopped me doing anything and somewhat as a teenager I could do a lot more than my friends but now it feels they have just skipped past me. I’m probally being mellow dramatic in my self-centeredness of a day, but its how I feel.

I decided a few weeks ago that I was leaving YF at church, because I really do feel to old for it, and more in respect to the other “youth” there, it makes it a lot easier for leaders to plan (or I feel it will). I’m kind of lost in where I should be in the church now, should I be thinking of where I fit into the church as a whole now? What do you all think? In fairness I had been thinking of leaving YF all year so I was in my mind ready for leaving but I didn’t really think of where now? I still have [PUSH]+ but in theory for how long? I love spending time with my friends from church even if the majority are 5 years younger than me, I know age isn’t an issue, but at this time when I should be maturing what is the ideal age group I should be with… I know there isn’t one, and I’ll mature at my own rate, but am I being giving an opportunity to mature?


Comments please…